Life Update

I planned to write a several days ago. I saw a video and wanted to write about my conflicting views on it. The video was about something I’m passionate about, but I quickly forgot what the video was. Apparently it wasn’t that important. 

I’m going to be honest with you. Part of me wants to stop the relationship group I’m leading. I feel underprepared. The guys like the group, but thinking about it causes me some slight stress. I have no clue what we’re doing on Thursday when we talk about trust. 

Also, I’ve been isolating myself more. I can see it happening slowly. At first it was innocent. I honestly couldn’t make it. Then it became a choice. I need to fix it. I want to fix it.

I’m thinking about starting my own business. It wouldn’t be until the end of 2018. I should start praying about that. My prayer life has been subpar. I pray at prayer team meeting and occasionally at other times. But I lack regularity. 

Which leads me to Lent. I changed things for this last week. My motives from abstaining was lost. I felt like I was abstaining solely because I said that I was going to. And I failed to add in the things that I had planned to add. So I decided that if I want to watch videos or read stuff online I need to read my Bible first. 

The only things I’m doing are that and giving up eating out and meat. I still want to save the money so that I can give. I need to renew my faith. It’s there, but I can tell I’m becoming lukewarm. I’m also going to fast on Good Friday. The prayer team leader wanted us to fast half the day on Easter, but I was already set on Friday. So now the request in to fast at some point Easter weekend. 

I’ll be alone for Easter. It’s not the first time, but I’d love to spend time with people. Though I know if invited to spend Easter with people I would decline. I have some issues I need to work on. 

Well I will talk to you later. I’m trying to write a story for my other neglected blog.

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