I really need to get better at posting.
Right now I’m in a class to become a certified addiction counselor. I had class last weekend, this weekend, and next weekend. That plus work Monday through Friday is tiring. This week I’m covering groups for my coworker since she’s in a training. So not looking forward to it.
I have over a month of porn-free living. Surprisingly, this has been the easiest bout of sobriety I’ve ever had. It’s kind of strange. Part of me is waiting for this huge uncontrollable craving to take place. Things are going too well. Maybe not “too well.” Maybe I’m just letting my anxiety control too much of my brain.
In class we’re practicing motivational interviewing. We have to do “real play” instead of role play. The scenario I’m using is about wanting to meet people and build intimate relationships. I want to build a strong support system. I want to feel known. On this blog I’m open. I put myself out there, but in person it’s hard. It’s hard with people I know.
I just finished another real play. I really need to work on my confidence. It’s lacking. My self-esteem is kind of low. The question is how to improve that and decrease my anxiety. I’m getting better and can accept some compliments. Though it’s only really with work related compliments. I think it might be because I’m use to getting a compliment with a “but” attached to it. Oh the issues I have related to my family system…
Class is almost over. I’ll try to write more often. I’ll let you know if I make progress on those connections.
I’ll talk to you later, lovelies.