“I Believe; Help My Unbelief”

I had a revelation. Have you ever read Mark 9:14-29? I’m like the father in that story. I find myself crying out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” If I had to some up my faith in a sentence, this might be it.

I believe that there is a God. I could never deny that God exists. I know He’s real, but I’m constantly riddled with doubts and unbelief. I believe, but wonder ‘what if…’ I believe, but something stops me from fully committing my life to God. It ebbs and flows.

I think my unbelief is surrounding what God is capable of doing. I know people who have great testimonies. People who have seen miracles in their lives or in the life for other. I haven’t had experiences like that.

I think that’s why I doubt. I know that faith is faith because it doesn’t require proof. And it’s not the proof itself that I need. I’m just not sure of what God can truly do. And it makes me question. And while there is nothing wrong with asking questions, you have to accept that not every question will have an answer you understand.

I’m learning to be okay with where I am. Admitting that I have doubts and that I want help with my unbelief was a relief. I’ve spent too much time trying to act like the Christian people believe I am instead of being honest with myself about what my struggles are. How can I grow if I don’t know where I need to grow?

So, here’s to being honest. Here’s to admitting to God that I am uncertain about a lot of things, who He truly is being one of them. Here’s to using this time to learn more and grow in my faith.

Maybe that was what’s keeping me from some of the things I’ve wanted and felt I needed. I tried to do things on my own because I know what I’m capable of. Now I just want to add more God to my life. By doing that I will allow Him to work in my life. I will be less likely to try by my own might to do things.

I’m excited and slightly fearful for this journey in my life. A road to somewhere…somewhere brighter, I’m sure.

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One Response to “I Believe; Help My Unbelief”

  1. That you are constantly riddled with doubts and unbelief should be no surprise. So many people are wondering how it really is. Lots of people are also caught in lots of human tradition which they would not love to put aside. That makes it more difficult for them to come to see the Biblical Truth.

    We do agree that often people who were confronted with terrible shocking things or who underwent a near death experience are often convinced of the existence of God. They also after their experience make work of it to spread the Truth.

    You should first of all wonder what Christian belief me be. Is it that what main churches are promoting? Or is it more what smaller churches preach or even what individuals try to make clear to others?

    Lovely you want to try to put more of God into your life. But than you should also come to know Who or What God is. The best way to do so is to take the Bible and to read it by having put away all those human teachings and human doctrines. For example when there is written in the Bible “the son of God” not to think “god the son”. also try to keep all the biblical characters in their perspective and Biblical value. Perhaps today you are still a slave of the false doctrines and think Jesus is God instead of accepting the Jesus is the son of God, the sent one from God who put his own will aside to do the Will of God. (In case he would have been God than naturally he would always have done his own will which then would also have been the Will of God.)

    You have all reason to be fearful for this journey in your life, because it can become a very confronting one. but in the end you shall find it shall also be a marvellous trip bringing you to light unknown before.

    We wish you a lot of success with your quest for truth and your search for God.

    Like

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