The last few weekends I had to take CAC (certified addiction counselor) classes. I’m so glad that I finished the last one today. It’s also kinda sad. I met some nice people. One person in the classes I met during grad school. It was nice seeing her again.
There was also this guy. I don’t know, there was something about him. He was nice. I’d like to be friends with him. Part of me was attracted to him as something more. Honestly, it’s been awahile since I’ve experienced any attraction. I’m pretty sure that it was because I felt comfortable around him.
It reminded me of what I want. I want to feel loved. I want to have someone in my life who I feel comfortable around. I want to be loved and have support. A strong support system is what I want more than anything. I want to feel the comfort of people who care about me. I want to have someone who care about me like I’ve never known before.
Most people around my age want that. So many of my friends are married. It sometimes makes me feel lonely when I see everyone coupled up. I went to a going away dinner for a couple in my small group on Tuesday. It was nice. Thing is, it was noticeble that there were three couples and one other single person. I didn’t feel alone, but I noticed that I was by myself.
It was a comfort to be around everyone. It had been a while since I last saw them all as a group. It was a comfort. That’s what I want. It doesn’t have to be romantic. I want some sort of love. I want to feel like someone cares about me. That’s how I felt. I’m glad I was able make it. I’m glad to have support.
So, love and comfort. It’s what I want more than anything. Comfort in the love I feel. That is my goal in life. I wish all you lovelies love and comfort in that love for yourself.