I just wanted to post really quickly on here. I’ve had mice in my apartment. They were popping out of the stove. Pest control came on Thursday. Hopefully, I don’t find anymore.

When I mentioned this to my apartment leasing office they said: “what do you want us to do?” I had already sent something to maintenance but hadn’t heard anything back. I wanted them to look for holes and to let them know because it meant that others might have them. I live on the 4th floor.

Fun stuff, right?

I’ll write a longer post later this week. Hopefully.

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Lent 2017

I have never really done Lent. My Catholic friends in high school always gave up chocolate or MySpace. I never really understood this. 

As I grew older I learned more and would half heartedly participate. But this year will be different. I have things I want to give up and add in to help with my spiritual life. Not only do I want to get rid of things in my life that take me away from God, but I also want to place things in my life that please God.

It’s so easy to use this as a time of diet or to renew your New Year’s resolution. I don’t want that to be what this time means to me. Yes, I’m giving up buying fast food, but that’s because I’d rather use my money in a more productive way. If I can’t tithe regularly, then I don’t need to be spending my money on fast food and unnecessary shopping. Almost all my shopping is food, books, and music. I know I need to cut back. I have lots of books I’ve yet to read.

There are also things that I’ve given up already that I want to be more diligent about. I’m giving up porn because even though I’ve already given it up, I’ve typed stuff into my search engine then close it before watching something. It’s progress. I just want to renew my commitment. Also giving up fanfiction. I gave it up before, but a couple of stories slipped through the cracks. There is nothing wrong with most fanfic, but it’s something that can easily consume too much of my time.

I plan to implement daily prayer and Bible reading. I tend to make excuses and not do them. I also plan to tithe on my tax refund. Normally I wouldn’t or if I did it was be no more than $20 regardless of what I got back. I’m trying to change. I like my church and believe that it is doing God’s work. I want to support those things, not only through money, but also with my time.

I think that Lent is the perfect time to explore what things separate you from God and what can bring you closer.

Last thing, I decided to fast and pray today since it’s the first day of Lent. The day was stressful, so a lack of food was bad, but I did remember to pray throughout the day. And honestly, the only food I wanted was junk food. Also, I just remembered I’m giving up meat for Lent. Can’t remember why… Oh well, it’s the perfect time to explore new things.

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I Suck at Blogging

I am in desperate need of a time management course because I suck at it which leads to me going longer than I want without posting. At least it has only been 20 days since the last post instead of 3 months. An improvement.

Aside from letting you know that I’m a horrible blogger, I wanted to let you know that I’m creating my own relationship group at group. It’s all mine to design. Those of you who follow my blog may know about how I want to work with intimacy disorders when I grow up, so this is exciting news. Though I’m not really excited. When I talk to people who are excited I get excited, but otherwise not much excitement.

Also, I’m going to give up stuff and add stuff into my life for Lent. I haven’t really done anything for it ever. I remember in high school my Catholic friends giving up chocolate and MySpace/Facebook. I kinda participated the last year or so, only half-assed it. But this year I want to whole heartedly participate. I want to take the time to get rid of things that are coming in-between my relationship with God and add in things.

I’ll post about that more either Tuesday or Wednesday since Lent starts on Wednesday. I need a story to post on blog number 2. I suck at posting on that blog as well. I am going to make some changes on my life. I’m looking forward to the future. I’m unsure about what is going to happen, but I have a good feeling about some of the things in store for me.

So, I was going to just post a video of myself, but I kept making excuses so nothing was recorded. It was just going to be a cover of a song… I think. I had no solid plans, but covers are easy. Um, my elevator has been broken for a week now. I’m trying to eat healthy. I like bok choy. I already knew that, but I thought I’d share. Also, butternut squash mixes in nicely with mac n cheese.

I should go eat. I’ve only had water and Reese’s today. I starting writing on blog number 3 after church and wanted to finish eating, then I started writing on this blog since I kinda forgot about food, but now I remember.

So, this is post. That makes me slightly less sucky at blogging than when I wrote the title however many minutes ago.

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To be Titled… Ramblings…

I am so horrible with this keeping up on the writing thing. But I’m trying to get back in sync. I’m going to try to write more while on the bus. That way I actually write. I wrote a story today for blog number two. It was the start of a story, but I promised to write a story weekly over there. Missed last week, which was supposed to be week one. I’m off to a swell start.

I try not to depend on technology too much, so I don’t really care about the different features too much. If I can call, text, and check my emails, I’m good. That’s typically what I do on my phone, aside from reading and watching youtube. But I figured out how to do a screenshot on my phone. When I read something about I didn’t care. But a couple of days ago, I was looking for a picture online. I was reading the book on my phone and failed to find what I wanted, so I took a screenshot. I had forgotten how to do it and had to look in my history to find the article.

So yup. I am not tech savvy. It’s more like, I don’t care. If I want to learn it, I will.The thing is, I feel like as a young person I should be more on top of the tech and social media stuff. I’m not and that’s okay, but sometimes I feel out of touch with society due to this. I’m not going to change this anytime soon, if ever.

On another note, someone I share an office with, though not my coworker, told me she was going to set me up with one of the specialists in the jail. Not too excited about that. He’s nice, but I’m not attracted to him. I am awkward around guys who like me. I don’t have much of a desire to date, but I would love to be in a relationship. Also, I want a cuddle buddy.

Also, there was no real point to this post other than to post. Maybe next post will have more of a purpose. Maybe.

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Anniversaries and Health

WordPress just informed me that I signed up for it 6 years ago to the day. I also had the anniversary of my birth on Wednesday. I am now 28. Time is passing by slowly yet quickly at the same time. Oh, I also celebrated a month of being pron free last Sunday.

January is a month of anniversaries I guess. January is a time of new starts for me. It’s not because of the new calendar year . I think turning a new age is a perfect time to make changes. So I am working out more and eating somewhat healthier.

I workout yesterday. I did this workout that I found on pinterest. The Titania from Fairy Tail workout posted below. Ugh, never agfitnessain. Well, I will do it again, just not anytime soon. I might use that to test my fitness level. I was able to do most of it, but the pushups and situps were ugly. After the first set and a half, my pushups were nowhere near proper. And I gave up on the punch situps and instead did crunches. My body hates me right now, so I’ll work out some later.

I tried zucchini noodles this week. Bought a cheap handheld spiralizer and made noodles. They weren’t bad. Topped it with some sauteed bell peppers and onion and goat cheese. I really wanted spaghetti, so I mixed wheat pasta, regular pasta, and zucchini noodles. The thought of having zucchini noodles with a tomato sauce just seemed weird to me so that’s why I mixed them. But it was yummy in my tummy.  I have made my meals for the week. As long as I remember to prepare meals for the week, I eat healthy. I moment I forget or decide to do otherwise I start eating crap.

I’m trying to minimize my unhealthy eating. I’m not going to cut everything unhealthy out of my life. That would be unrealistic. I’m trying not to make unrealistic changes. I’ve started a fitness journal…kinda. My long term goal is to lose 50 lbs. The first milestone is to lose 25 lbs. Once I lose 10 lbs I get to reward myself with some fun looking workout clothes. I have stayed basically the same weight for the last year, but my clothing size has increased. My main goal is losing the inches around my waist and other areas. So I measured myself, something I haven’t done before. I haven’t decided what my goal is in terms of that.

Losing weight would help with some of my health problems. I don’t know if I mentioned being diagnosed with PCOS. Losing weight can help manage some of the symptoms. I’d much rather do that than take medicine everyday. I hate taking pills. With a passion.

Let’s see how I do. I think writing the things down in the journal will be good for me . I also need to work on my upper body strength and my core.

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Online Relationships

Over the last few months I have read various books and stories, of the fiction variety, about people who have a blog, tumblr, or some other social platform connecting with someone offline. Then the stereotypical becoming friends followed by falling in love. It makes me wonder how often it happens in real life since so may writers think it happens fairly often.

I think that if I were to meet someone online, I would like it to be that way. That may be due primarily to the fact that the thought of online dating sends a wave of anxiety through my body that I’d rather not deal with. Call me old fashion, but I want to meet someone in person and become friends. From there, we can fall in love or remain friends. I’m fine with either.

One of my friends has been trying to get me to do online dating. I signed up once. I may have left off one digit in my email address and only used my first name. I really just wanted to see how it was set up. I couldn’t even look around before the thought of what I was doing and that people would see that information scared me.

It might seem a little weird since I have this blog (+2), but it took me some time to get use to the idea. This is not my first blog. I don’t remember the year, but I think it was 2008, that I started a blog on blogger. I deleted it shortly after that. I didn’t like the idea of others reading it, but I didn’t see the point in not sharing it. So the only reasonable thing to do was to delete it.

When I started things I had stopped caring about people reading it. There was no name attached. At some point I time I got brave and put my name in the about part. I think it’s still there. I’ve thought about deleting it a few times when I put something really personal up there.

It’s so easy to be anonymous online. I can be whoever I want to be. It’s possible that everything I have written on this blog about my life is false and you’d never know. But I wouldn’t do that. I try to be honest. If I’m not being honest I’m probably being sarcastic. And that’s what scares me about online. You can be whoever.

I know that most people are fairly honest online, though they might play up the positive or embellish a bit. But at the core, people tend to be themselves. You never know who you’re talking to online even if the person is being honest. I don’t know, my mind just thinks too much at times.

I know at least 4 people who met someone online and got married. One of them just had a baby boy. Out of the 4 couples that come to mind, she is the only one who was already married when I met her. One friend signed up for a free trial, met him, then cancelled. I was in her wedding and they had a kid last year. The other two I went to grad school with. One of them also had a baby last year. Everyone’s having babies.

I know people who find happiness online. They found love. Me? I just want more friends. While I have more female friends, I tend to be closer to my male ones, blame it on having brothers. I just want more friends in my life. I want to meet people. I told my mom that if I’m still single by 30, I might consider online dating. Her response was about that still being young and not to do something rash. I had to point out that I said might consider. That only means thing about it.

I turn 28 on Wednesday. I thought by this time I would have been in a relationship that lasted over 3 months at least once. Or a relationship that I felt was real. Or one that didn’t end a month prior to it officially ending. I want love in my life. Is online dating a realistic option for me?

I don’t expect to have the love of my life read this blog, or one of my others, and decide to contact me so we can start our love affair. I don’t see myself reconnecting with someone on facebook, despite my friend telling me I should with my high school prom date after I saw him over Thanksgiving.

Online relationships fascinate me. When did it become the norm to meet online? There nothing wrong with it. It’s changed how we approach people offline. What happened to the art of saying “hello” and wanting to know someone’s name? I see more and more people approach the offline world of dating as they would online. Or I lack people skills.

Oh, I’ve concluded that I am an awkward dater. I must be. Considering how uncomfortable I get when someone asks me if I have a boyfriend, I’ve concluded the topic is just uncomfortable…unless I start the topic or I’m comfortable around you. And you lovelies, I am comfortable around.

So, online relationships. I like ours. I may not know you personally. And I only read some of your blogs, though I haven’t really read any in a few months, I feel somewhat close to you. I have shared my inner most thoughts and feelings. You know my secretes, but don’t judge me. That’s what I want in a relationship, though I wouldn’t mind a little more communication.

This post is officially longer than I thought it would be. I could easily keep writing, but I will save it for another day. You guys are awesome, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I really do love being able to talk to all of you. Have a good day, or night, wherever you are, lovelies.

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A New Year

As you can tell if you’ve read this blog somewhat regularly, I stopped doing daily posts. I was initially going to make New Year’s Eve the last daily post, but I didn’t feel like writing on Christmas Eve so I stopped earlier.

In the week that I haven’t posted I kept wanting to write something but didn’t really know what. I honestly still don’t know what to write. Continue reading

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